I decided to just buckle down and do it since right now is a pretty slow time for me (if life can be slow with 14 kids?). All the children in our program are in school with all of their supplies until a new semester starts after holidays in May, cold and flu season is ending meaning less sick ones to take care of (THANK YOU JESUS!), we pretty much have our feeding program down to a science, and my employees do a fantastic job keeping home visits, school Bible studies, and village ministry running. My life is NEVER boring, but it has been a bit more relaxed these days.
Usually when people ask me what exactly I DO in Uganda, I answer simply, “Just love. I’m just a stay-at-home mom.” Well, stay-at-home mom has taken on a whole new, quite literal meaning. We are talking really STAY at home, as in never leave the compound, mom. I have two three year olds now, Grace and Jane, although Grace functions closer to an 18 month old. Both have been trained (or forced) in their previous lifestyles to just use the bathroom where ever they are seated. This is not super fun for me. So I pretty much spend my days sitting and playing on the floor with them waiting for one of the to yell “MOMMY! JAAGAAAALAAAA FOOOOFAAAA!!” (correct spelling is njagala fuca, which basically means, I have to pee). I then scoop them up and zoom them to the nearest potty (Jane still doesn’t usually let me know that she needs to go until after she is already going on the floor, and while Grace is making huge progress, she cannot yet walk herself to the toilet). Some days this keeps me so occupied that I wake up in pj’s, spend the day in pj’s, and go to sleep in the same pj’s.
I remind myself that this is just a season. It will pass and I will look back and laugh at the days that I didn’t change my clothes and spent all day running back and forth to the potty and cleaning bodily functions off the floor.
I tell you all this in simply asking for prayer. Some days, I am just tired. I am happy, beyond happy. There is NO WHERE I would rather be. I am trying to remeber that what I DO is not what makes me valuable to the Lord (this is a trap I fall into often). It is so easy to feel useful feeding 1,800 children. It is not so easy to feel useful sitting on the floor of my little cement house all day.
It is just a season. Please pray that I would not grow weary. I love my life. But in lots of sitting there is lots of thinking and in lots of thinking the enemy reminds me of what I miss. I miss my mom. If you know her, you understand. The workers at a local orphanage affectionately refer to her as a “beaming ray of God’s light to this earth” (copyright Rachel and Arielle) and it is so true. I miss the rest of my family too, just talking them at the end of the day, and I am easily saddened that I miss watcing my little brother play some of the best lacrosse of his life and go to prom and just live life. I miss Strong Tower Bible Church, being spiritually fed every week and having Gwen and Suzanne’s sweet shoulders right next to me to cry on. I miss the YMCA, for those who don’t know me, I am pretty addicted to running (I don’t know if there are treadmills here… I would totally put one in my house and run while potty training, but I think that would be against all my “more than enough” theology…).
This is where I am. This is where I want to be, and I know that I know that this is where God wants me right now and that He is holding me. This is just a season. I share only because I know you will pray. I am a DO-er, sitting still gets me. I am learning; I am always learning, and I am thankful for that.
Jane needs to FOOFAA. I guess I do run a little bit…