“I just want to remember,” she says matter-of-factly, and she pulls the covers right back up over her head.
It is well after our 8 o’clock bed time. I have been sunk deep in the couch and in the Word knowing that 13 pairs of feet were tucked snugly in 13 beds. But as I make my way from the couch to my room, something catches my eye and I peek my head in the girls’ bedroom.
There flat on the cold, hard tile floor is my 11 year old with her blanket pulled tightly around herself. It doesn’t look as if she has rolled out of bed; it looks intentional. I nudge her awake. “Honey, what are you doing on the floor?” Why would anyone ever choose to sleep on this, the hardest of surfaces, with a comfortable bed just inches away?
“Remember,” she mumbles sleepily, “I just want to remember. Some people don’t have a bed,mom. I didn’t have a bed, mom. God gave me a bed. And I wanted to remember what it was like to not have one.”
We have to remember. Because how can we ever move forward if we don’t look back? This God, He makes promises and in remembering we see the truth: this God, He keeps promises.
A new year is such a perfect invitation to remember. I look out over this vast blankness, yet to be filled with His promises and fulfillments, yet to be riddled with hard and splashed with joy. It threatens to be overwhelming. For a moment, pondering the how’s and the why’s and the what-if’s seems much more alluring than meditating on these promises printed on thin paper. In knowing who I am not, I forget who He is always: powerful, able, faithful. But then I think back over the hard and the joy of last year, the faithfulness of God in each one of those moments and I know that I can move forward with this Father holding my hands.
I peek my head back in a she’s sound asleep, her chest rising and falling against the tile. I kneel there for a moment and think hard about all He has done, how far He has brought us. I am completely overwhelmed by His goodness and His faithfulness. We can do tomorrow. We can do this year, with all of its unknown and all of its hard and all of its joy because we trust in this God who has given us so much to remember.
Will you join me this month in remembering? I have spent the last month of quiet pondering all that God has done this year. Allowing myself to be completely overwhelmed by the beauty of life with this Savior friend by my side and in awe of the miracles He has performed, big and small, on our behalf. I had to ponder and cry and laugh and lay prostrate on the bathroom floor in gratitude for all that He has done. And now He is whispering, “It is time to share. Tell my people what I have done for you.”
So with no fancy writing and no eloquent words and no worrying about punctuation (because His works are too perfect to be embellished), I am going to spend this month remembering out loud His goodness, taking a cue from my 11 year old daughter and remembering all He has given and knowing that in Him there in only more to come.
Thank you for praying us through 2011. Please rejoice with us at all He has done!